


Replacing the Carburetor

by vega_voices



Series: You Are Like That, [6]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Gen, but at least we get some sense of why the hell he was so out of sorts in vis a vis, it isn't just happy ever after, relationships can be hard but rewarding, so we spend the whole time in their heads, sorry about that, the babies are traumatized okay, there is so much happening on Voyager over just a few months, wherein i let these two be introspective as hell, you gotta work on it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26290288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vega_voices/pseuds/vega_voices
Summary: Rather than listen to her, rather than understand what they were both working through, he’d retreated to the Camaro program he’d crafted just for her. For them to share. He’d written it before the Hirogen, but never had the chance to show her and it killed him because he knew how much she loved mechanical engineering, how much she loved getting her hands dirty and just building something.
Relationships: Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres
Series: You Are Like That, [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861696
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18





	Replacing the Carburetor

**Title:** Replacing the Carburetor   
**Author:** vegawriters  
 **Fandom:** Star Trek: Voyager  
 **Series:** You Are Like That,  
 **Pairing:** B’Elanna Torres/Tom Paris  
 **Rating:** Gen  
 **Timeframe:** Vis a Vis  
 **Disclaimer:** Star Trek and all its franchise concepts are not owned by me. I'm just explaining why their characters do what they do. ;)

 **Summary:** _Rather than listen to her, rather than understand what they were both working through, he’d retreated to the Camaro program he’d crafted just for her. For them to share. He’d written it before the Hirogen, but never had the chance to show her and it killed him because he knew how much she loved mechanical engineering, how much she loved getting her hands dirty and just building something._

**Knives in the Borrowed House  
Don’t sharpen them.  
Expectation, more dangerous  
than any blade.**  
-By Tess Gallagher

Taking a breath, and a risk, Tom tapped his comm badge and raised his eyes to the ceiling. It was instinctive at this point - something about living on a starship demanded the action. Somehow everyone was convinced the computer would hear them better if they did it. “Paris to Torres?”

“Yes, Lieutenant?” He could hear the bustle of engineering around her. “Got other plans for tonight? Cancelling last minute as usual?”

He winced at the ice in her voice, the frustration that he knew was aimed not at her temperamental engines or her engineering staff, but really, at him. It was completely deserved and he’d be lucky if she didn’t space him at this point. He’d started pulling away after the Hirogen attack and well, Steth’s little visit hadn’t exactly helped things. 

Everyone assumed B’Elanna was the hard one to handle, that it was her temper that kept them fighting, but he was just as guilty. He pushed and pushed, begging her to open up and accept the parts of herself that she ran from, parts he knew were glorious and honorable, but while doing that, he often hid behind his own six foot walls. Right now, this distance, this vitriol, was all on him, so he took a risk. “Look, I’m not cancelling our date. I was just wondering if … you wanted to join me on the holodeck instead of in your quarters. Three hours of escape on me.” Silence. Long enough that he was starting to worry the comm link had been dropped. “B’Elanna?”

“So you aren’t cancelling?” Ice froze the comm link. Oh, she was angry. And she had every right to be. 

“No. In fact … I owe you an apology. Join me there when you’re off shift?” 

Silence again and finally he heard the sigh, the acceptance of her making the choice. “Yes. I’ll join you there.” The comm link severed before he could acknowledge her but Tom took it as a win he didn’t deserve. With a slow, low breath, he made his way back to the holodeck, to his hideout, and as he stepped through the door, took a look around before accessing the controls. He programmed a picnic basket and put it and a blanket in the trunk of the Camaro, and changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a t-shirt before slipping back into the coveralls and finishing up the last of the repairs on the car. 

Tonight, tonight he was going to show this to her and let her in and tell her the damn truth. 

It wasn’t until the Hirogen had beamed away and the relative calm of daily life had settled onto Voyager when it all hit him, hard. Briefings about what really happened be damned, seeing her so pregnant hadn’t initially been an issue. Hell, he’d been at first intrigued and then horrified that maybe they’d been without their memories for nine months and now he and B’Elanna were about to be parents. But in the few minutes it took to establish that the child-sized lump on his girlfriend was in fact a holographic projection, everything in Tom’s brain skidded to a halt. Yes, he defended her to that Nazi who had somehow impregnated her (how weird was that story) but there was a deep hurt that opened in him that he just couldn’t put his finger on. So, he did what he always did when he was scared out of his mind and refusing to face why - he retreated. The worst part was that B’Elanna seemed to want to talk about it. He’d just been weirded out but she’d been faced with the idea that the Hirogen had programmed some kind of rape or non-consensual scene for her to endure and she hadn’t been strong enough, and there he was, finding every reason not to spend time with her and justifying it because she was so busy in engineering, repairing all of the damage the Hirogen had done. They barely had time for lunch, let alone sex, and when he wasn’t cancelling on her, she was often asleep within minutes. 

Rather than listen to her, rather than understand what they were both working through, he’d retreated to the Camaro program he’d crafted just for her. For them to share. He’d written it before the Hirogen, but never had the chance to show her and it killed him because he knew how much she loved mechanical engineering, how much she loved getting her hands dirty and just building something. 

Since getting stranded out in the Delta Quadrant, his fascination with 20th century Earth history had become a doctoral level of study. This time around, a book on the history of transportation on Earth caught his attention and the old photos of the cars were riveting and suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to spend time building the old cars and seeing what made that time period tick. Every free moment had gone into writing the program, creating the car, the garage. Her engineering skills and his love of piloting, it would all come together here. The first time he stepped into the garage, he’d closed his eyes and breathed in the smell that was a part of garages and hangers, no matter the century: oil and lubricant and metal and always, just a hint of smoke. 

But more than just a place where he and B’Elanna could build and play, he’d allowed himself a fantasy that wouldn’t ever happen unless Voyager was truly lucky. He’d dreamed of the laughter of kids playing on the car, B’Elanna teaching their daughter how to figure out problems in the moment, quiet moments just between the two of them. He wanted a future with B’Elanna Torres. He wanted to marry her and have kids with her and he wanted them to spend way too much time in this garage and they weren’t ready for that conversation, he knew, but it was something he wanted with all of his heart, even if in his conversations with Steth, he’d pushed back against it. Old fly-boy moods died hard. Especially when old-flyboys were terrified of change and the future.

Then came the Hirogen and the Nazi simulation and waking up to see her pregnant by another man and even if it wasn’t real, it still felt real. It still hurt. The first time he wanted to see her like that, her hand caressing a child, was when they both knew what was happening. 

Any experienced counselor would call what he was doing sulking, or even pouting, and then worked him up to projection, but Tom just called it working out his demons. Alone. On the holodeck. And the garage went to their potential playground to his hideout. Maybe if he finished the car up for her, that would give them the chance to talk. They’d take a long night on the holodeck, drive up to a B&B up the coast, make love until dawn, and he’d finally shake the memories and nightmares of what could have been done. It was selfish, he knew. He’d only had his fantasies shaken. She’d woken to find herself nine months pregnant with a child she sure as hell hadn’t planned for. But he was now hidden behind his walls and the gate was padlocked and rusting shut. 

Logic told him that it wouldn’t take much to actually work through this. B’Elanna was as good at evading deep, soulful questions as he was, but eventually her combined senses of Klingon honor and human guilt took over and she’d force the issue. More than that, he thought as he checked the oil one last time, it was clear she wanted to face them. All he needed to do was bring her into his arms and kiss her and ask her how she’d felt with that baby, if she ever thought about kids, especially kids with him. Did she dream of little girls with blonde hair and cranial ridges? Or little boys with dark hair and blue eyes? And he knew her. He’d bring the question up over dinner and she’d roll her eyes and say it didn’t matter and then later on, as they were drifting to sleep, she’d curl up close and rest her head on his chest and tell him what was really on her mind. That was his favorite time of night, when they were sated and comfortable but not yet asleep and the conversations turned to everything from warp theory to favorite books and childhood antics. They’d show up for their shifts half-awake and needing more coffee than even the captain to survive, but it was worth it. It was a time of night they hadn’t experienced in weeks. 

Tom replaced the oil cap and dropped the hood on the car. What if she told him it wasn’t in the cards? That as a hybrid she couldn’t have children? Or that she’d been so traumatized by the baby she’d woken up to find that she didn’t want to go near the thought? What if she said the future didn’t matter, not yet? That one would make the most sense and also be the hardest to bear. How crazy to feel that change. A change he’d only been processing since Steth had done his thing. What if the whole thing with Steth had ruined them? 

Life as a fly-by-night pilot and overall asshole had been full of adventure, loneliness, and had eventually landed him in prison. Not exactly something worth repeating. Not when he had friends on Voyager, a position that gave him purpose, and a woman in his life who made his heart race just by meeting his eyes over the conference room table. 

So, he did the only logical thing: he pushed her away like he always accused her of doing. He hid on the holodeck and rebuilt a car he wanted to give to his girlfriend. It wasn’t like he was turning into his father, not at all. It wasn’t like he had a place to hide and contemplate the unfairness of the universe while leaving family duties to his wife. It wasn’t like he’d known his father sent him a letter but the data stream had corrupted it and he was still pouting about that all while B’Elanna dealt with the slaughter of her friends and lovers. 

The counselor in the back of his head was welcome to shut up at any time. 

He could pout all he wanted, but B’Elanna was on duty for another three hours and he wasn’t going anywhere. So, he stretched out under the car and got back to work.

***

Cautious, B’Elanna approached the holodeck. What if this was it? What if this was the conversation where he ended it all? She just wasn’t sure she could handle losing Tom on top of the maquis. The fog that was ever present in her mind, that had been with her since childhood, it rolled in more and more every day. Just last week, after Tom had cancelled yet another date, she’d taken to the holodeck and beat the crap out of some alien monsters and set her broken wrist herself. It still twinged, but it was a good twinge. A good hurt. It pushed the fog back just a bit. 

Right now, B’Elanna’s back hurt. It hurt because she’d wrenched it while scaling the access ladders inside the plasma conduits, but even weeks later, her body twinged like she was still carrying that damn holographic baby. Sometimes, she looked down, expecting to see the bump getting in the way as she climbed into a jefferies tube or rolled over in bed. Paranoia ruled eternal.

The first thing she’d thought when that Hirogen neural interface was broken was that they’d been captive for long enough that she and Tom were actually expecting a child. And then she was terrified it wasn’t Tom’s, and the feelings of potentially being violated hadn’t gone away. She knew, logically, that the Hirogen had created a scenario where she’d been impregnated by Earth’s version of the Cardassians, and that it had only been active for a few days. But still, had they watched? Was she forced? The way that Nazi officer had treated her told her it had been, somehow, consensual even if her “character” was doing what many good resistance fighters had done from time to time. Her skin crawled. Did it even matter because she’d never actually been pregnant so it was all just a holographic simulation, but the look on Tom’s face hadn’t been fake. He’d been horrified. 

He’d seen her, reached for her, protected her. He’d been so scared for her. For them. But since the Hirogen had left, he’d been hiding from her. When he wasn’t on duty, he was asleep or on the holodeck and something told her she just wasn’t invited. When did show up in her life, all they did was fight. And Steth’s appearance in that damned ship hadn’t helped. Body snatcher or no, he’d uncovered some of the issues she and Tom were really good at glossing over. 

What if seeing her pregnant was the last straw? She wasn’t easy to be with, she knew that. Her moods were one of those things her friends tolerated and her lovers always seemed to grow tired of. For a while, it seemed like, maybe, Tom was different. He embraced her Klingon side, said it wasn’t so scary. He knew that much of her “bad mood” was just her not wanting to get hurt. But she pushed him to his limits. Even he wasn’t made of infinite patience. And seeing her pregnant must have made him realize just what could be down the road for them. Bound to a family he’d eventually grow tired of, facing the prospect of a life with two Klingons with moods and demands. No wonder he was running. Maybe he was just waiting for her to end it. Maybe this night on the holodeck was his way of letting her down easy. 

Problem was, in her heart of hearts, a family was something she wanted. She wanted the safe harbor of a home, a partner who loved her. She wanted kids - scared as she was about being a mother. And new as their relationship was, when she thought about who she wanted it with, she wanted it with Tom. What if he didn’t? What if this was his way of figuring out how to end it so the big bad Klingon didn’t track him down and hurt him for breaking her heart? Didn’t he realize that all she’d do was hide in the warp core and probably eat way too much chocolate and just nurse her broken heart while she figured out ways to avoid him in meetings forever? 

Maybe she should just end it. They’d had their fun. The sex was amazing. But it was one thing to casually date someone like her and another to be wildly in love and racing toward the alpha quadrant at warp 9. Tom did have a tendency to fall for the bright, shiny object in the sky. Maybe seeing her pregnant made him realize that she wasn’t so bright and shiny anymore. 

She knew he didn’t remember Steth’s taking over of his body, she knew that Steth wasn’t Tom, but what if he was harboring resentment for no longer being able to be the flyboy? When Steth had putting in her quarters and taunting her into a night that had - now, thankfully - been aborted by an emergency in engineering, she’d been so relieved he wanted to be with her that she’d been willing to ignore the red flags. When he’d been hurting her in the shuttlecraft and then thrown her aside, she’d known for sure something was wrong but the fear remained - what if she was the problem? _You're a real disappointment to me, do you know that? I don't know what I ever saw in you._ Unfair as it was, she worried it was how he’d really felt. So many others before him had. 

A long, low breath escaped her as she stepped off the turbolift and made her way down the corridor to the holodeck, a place she’d avoided since the Hirogen. She could do this. She could handle the broken heart she was about to receive. She still had Hirogen repairs to manage and Voyager was always two parsecs away from a complete hull rupture so she could keep busy. Eventually, she would shake the images of little kids with her hair and his eyes and maybe, if they were lucky, small enough cranial ridges that they wouldn’t be teased for their Klingon heritage. Eventually, her dreams of a house near the beach and a stable life would fade. 

But she was getting ahead of herself. First, she needed to face the problem inside the holodeck. She needed to walk in and see what Tom wanted to talk about. She’d made a point not to change out of her uniform, even though she was off-duty. No, this was her armor, and she wore all of it, even her lab coat, as she called for access to the holodeck and stepped inside, her eyes taking in the large, white shed, the road, and her boyfriend standing in front of a large door.

***

The holodeck doors opened and Tom turned to face her, wiping his hands on the towel he kept in his coverall pocket. 

God, she was beautiful. Five feet-six inches of pure power and raw energy. Smooth, tan skin, gentle cranial ridges, hair that even when she had it smoothed down had a mind of its own. But it was her eyes that drew him in, that had always drawn him in. His reputation had been as a leg man - and truly, B’Elanna had magnificent legs - but what had struck him the first moment he ever laid eyes on her was her eyes that were wide and big and almost as dark as a Betazoid’s. People always remarked on how the first thing you noticed on B’Elanna were, of course, the ridges. But for him, it had been her eyes. He’d fallen into them without ever realizing and he never wanted to leave, even when she made it perfectly clear what she thought of him. Her distaste hadn’t been what turned him on, it had been his desire to prove to her that he was more than the wall he showed to other people. He’d spent so long pretending to fit the mold of the Starfleet Flyboy, that’d he’d forgotten what it meant to throw that to the side, and with her, for her, he wanted to. He’d seen a fellow coward in her, after all. She hid behind her temper, behind the ridges, rather than show people the woman who loved romance novels and herbal tea and who threw a heavier punch than anyone he’d ever met. 

He loved her so much, and he’d been pushing her away. Why? Because he was scared to bring up the thing that tripped him up? That he was terrified of turning into his father and that she wouldn’t want to raise a family with him? Without saying a word, he bent and opened the door and led her in. 

“So this is where you've been hiding.” Her voice was vastly unimpressed and Tom winced. He had work to do here. “A garage,” she continued. 

He understood. For him, this was like if she’d been hiding in some kind of engineering simulation. Still, he felt strangely defensive of his space, of his hiding place while coming to terms with the missing letter from his father, and the holographic child he still couldn’t erase from his memory. “It's more than just a garage!” Tom held his arms out, showing off the space. “This is a monument …” he met her eyes and leaned across the car that separated them, and finally allowed himself to be honest. “...to hundreds and hundreds of hours that I probably should have spent with you.”

Her shoulders relaxed slightly. “Probably?” she challenged. 

He met her eyes, eyes he could still lose himself in, eyes that for him, held the very answer to his soul. “Definitely.” 

She was clearly still frustrated, still wondering what he was up to, and Tom knew that until he truly opened up, until he told her what had been on his mind for the past few weeks, they wouldn’t get anywhere. “It's a lovely garage, Tom,” she said, “but I still don't understand why you brought me here.” Her eyebrow raised and her arms were still crossed over her chest, but she hadn’t left yet. 

Honesty it was a lovely garage, but that wasn’t the point. “Well, consider it a symbolic gesture. It's my less than subtle attempt to let you in.” _Please, B’Elanna,_ he begged silently, _don’t run. Stay here so we can talk. So we can go go for a drive up the coast and have dinner and then go back to your quarters and make love and then stay awake and talk about everything like we had been before we both froze in fear. B’Elanna, damnit, I I love you._

“I see,” her tone was softening. “To make it clear that I mean almost as much to you as a, a …” she checked the label on the car, “cam-a-ro,” she stumbled over the pronunciation. 

The smile was instant and he waggled his finger at her as he opened the door on the driver’s side and climbed in. Thankfully, B’Elanna followed. “It's a mint condition 1969 Camaro,” he defended the car, and then he took a deep breath and took her hands in his as she faced him in the bucket seats. It was now or never. “And yes, you mean a lot more to me.”

She did what he’d hoped for but hadn’t expected - she kissed him. It was sweet and searching and tender and tom realized that if he played his cards right, he’d get to do what he’d always dreamed of - have sex in the backseat of a car. But first, he needed to be honest. He needed to tell her what was really going on in his head. 

“B’Elanna,” he said, pulling back. Her eyes searched his and he took her hands again. “You deserve an explanation.” 

“Yes,” she said, “I do.” 

“Will, your boyfriend is a coward be enough?”

She paused, contemplating, and finally shook her head. “Yes, but only because I’m one too. But I still get something more detailed.” 

He stared at her. She stared back. Silence stretched between them. How did he bring this up? And then, she did something he completely didn’t expect. She took his hand and placed it on her flat stomach. “You can’t get it out of your head either, can you?”

“B’Elanna …” the blood was leaving his body. 

“I saw the look on your face, Tom. How protective you were, how jealous when you realized the baby wasn’t yours. How horrified you were at what might have happened. How weirded out you were by it being a holographic projection. It was like the holonovel of doom.” 

Tears touched his eyes and he stroked her cheek, trying to catch his breath. “You’ve been feeling it too,” he said. “You’ve been wanting to talk about it, too. I know you were scared and I just retreated and I’m so sorry.”

Tension raged through her for a second and B’Elanna took a breath before meeting his eyes again. At least she hadn’t pulled away. “I woke up from a dream I don’t remember and I was nine months pregnant, Tom! It was every woman’s nightmare. Even after Seven told me it was a holographic projection …” tears spilled out of her eyes. “It got worse after that. What did the Hirogen do? What did they watch? What …” she shivered. “And suddenly … I was pregnant and it wasn’t anything we’d ever talked about. We haven’t been together long enough to even think about kids but …”

“But it got you thinking about it too?”

She wiped her eyes. “Yeah.” 

Tom took a breath and brought her fingers to his lips. “I’m so sorry I didn’t even process what you were thinking about that moment … how scared you were. I mean, I thought about it, but in my head it was all about me.” 

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I … we were all confused and scared.” 

Gently, he drew her as close as the seats would allow. B’Elanna buried her head in his shoulder and they sat in the silence. “I was ready to kill all of them for you,” Tom finally said. 

“Same,” she chuckled a bit. 

“I’m sorry,” Tom said again, “I’m so sorry just …” he paused. “You know, we haven’t talked about it.” 

“Talked about what?” She widened her eyes at him. “Kids?”

“Well … I mean … it’s part of what’s been bugging both of us. Maybe we can deal with the other stuff later? When we aren’t still … so raw?” He’d wait to address the idea that some Nazi hologram might have raped his girlfriend. Cowardly? Yes. 

B’Elanna sighed and opened the car door again, stepping out into the garage. Tom followed, and came around the front of the car, giving her space but not too much. “I really don’t know,” she said, her fingers trailing along the top of the workbench. But then she set her shoulders and turned to him. “Yes, Tom. I want kids. I want kids and a family and the whole thing. I want a house, I want a community. What do you think I was fighting for in the maquis? Just to kill Cardassians? These were our homes that were being taken away from us.” Her voice caught and it clicked for Tom that he had no idea what all of it had meant for her when she was fighting. For him, it had just been a place to land. “I want kids. And if this … experiment … with us works out … I want them with you. And I don’t know what that all means or even if we can have them. I mean, I know Klingon and human DNA is compatible but I don’t know what it means for me and I’ve never looked into it and …” she wiped her eyes. “Please shut me up before I embarrass myself.” 

“Every time I walk into this garage, I envision you and a couple of kids coming to drag me back inside.” He walked over and took her hands in his. “I want to go racing up the coast and find a perfect spot where we can picnic.” He stroked her cheek. “I love you,” he said. “And I am so sorry for pulling away and I am so sorry for what Steth did to you.” 

“I …” she looked down and then back up again. “We almost had sex, you know.”

Tom cleared his throat. “I … figured.” 

“Something felt off, but he … you’ve been so off. I figured at first it was just that. An emergency in engineering saved me from that. And then he … he grabbed me one day,” she said. “Hard. And it wasn’t you. I knew it wasn’t. There’s us being rough together and then there’s abuse and you would never grab me like he did.” Her eyes were glassy. “He was so vile to me. Wondering … what he … you … him … what you saw in me.”

Tom pulled her close and buried his nose in her hair. “If you want, I’ll spend the rest of my life reminding you what I see in you.” 

“At least the next few weeks,” she sniffed. Finally she pulled back and met his eyes. “Be honest with me, Tom.”

“Okay.”

“Do you miss it? The flyboy life and the groupies flocking to you?”

“The women no,” he cracked a grin. “The guys, sometimes.” 

She laughed and touched his cheek. 

He returned the gesture. “But no, B’Elanna. I don’t miss it. What I miss is the freedom to try new things. Sometimes, I feel trapped on Voyager because of our situation, but I don’t feel trapped by Voyager. Does that make sense?” 

She nodded. “Yes.” 

“And for as exciting as it was at times, to be the cool young pilot with an Admiral dad who could get away with …” he stopped himself, shaking off the memories of the accident, of what he’d done to get drummed out of the fleet. “Well. Privilege had its advantage. But I’m here and I get to know that the most beautiful woman in the galaxy loves me.”

“You're laying it on a bit thick, you know.” 

“Is it working?”

She laughed. “Yes.” 

“I can’t promise I won’t retreat again. But I need you to know how much you mean to me.”

“And I can’t promise I won’t run,” she admitted. “But … same.” 

Tom kissed her again and B’Elanna melted into his arms. 

“So …” she said when she came up for air … “want to show me what these cars were really for?”

He laughed. “You got time?”

“I’m off duty. You promised me three hours on the holodeck, remember?”

“Then what are you doing in that uniform?”

With a laugh, B’Elanna walked over to the controls and with the press of a few buttons, she was in a blue sundress with a shawl draped over her slender shoulders. “Does this work?”

“God, I’m a lucky man.” Tom pulled off the coveralls and went to clean the rest of the grease from his hands. He walked B’Elanna back to the car, helped her in, opened the garage door, and took off into the sunset. B’Elanna’s whoop of joy settled the knot in his stomach. They had a long way to go, but it felt like, finally, they were on the right track.

***

There was an old joke - that holodecks were for fucking. And well, she and Tom were quite used to putting that adage to truth. Right now, B’Elanna was feeling as good as she’d felt in a very long time. 

She looked over at Tom, who was standing by the water, his jeans hanging low on his hips. His shirt was still next to her on the blanket. B’Elanna rose, smoothed her dress down around her hips, and walked over to him. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and bit his shoulder blade lightly. Tom groaned and clasped her hands to his chest. “Start that up and the Doctor will walk in on us and then study us for a paper on Klingon/human mating rituals.”

B’Elanna rolled her eyes. ‘The doors are locked.” 

“Yeah, tell that to a hologram who can transfer his program.” 

She laughed and kissed where she’d bitten. “What’s on your mind?” 

“You. That damned program. That German hologram who treated you like you were his property and who would have killed you on sight.” He raised her hands to his lips and kissed them. “I know what the briefing said. I know that they started the program with all of us in that position. But all of it scared the hell out of me, B’Elanna. The idea that I can’t protect you …”

She groaned and walked around to look him in the eye. “Tom, first off, in hand to hand combat, I’m more likely to protect you. Don’t ever forget that. I might be terrified of that Klingon side of me at times, and I might get tired of being the ship’s resident Klingon, but as you are so fond of reminding me, it’s part of who I am and let’s face it, physically Klingons are just tougher.” They both laughed. “Secondly, we protect each other. The difference between you and me and us and the family we’ve got all the way back home is we can do something about each other. Here.” She felt the tendrils of fog creeping around her brain and pushed them back, hoping Tom believed her more than she believed herself. “As for all of the knowledge of what really happened with the Hirogen versus what we are scared of, that’s just going to take some time to fade. Briefings be damned.” 

“If anything ever happened to you …” he shook his head. “It’s my worst nightmare. Being up on the bridge and hearing some crisis in engineering, and knowing the last time I hear your voice is you telling the captain you’ll get back to her in a minute.” 

She offered him a small smile. “Same, buddy. Same.” 

“Our time’s almost up. What do you say we go back to my quarters and have dinner?” He kissed her. “And then, maybe, stay up all night talking?” 

B’Elanna sighed and wrapped her arms around him. It wasn’t fixed. It wouldn’t be fixed with just one night of talking. She was still processing what happened with the Hirogen and Steth and still learning to trust that Tom loved her and wanted her. But right now, for the first time in ages, she felt like she was on solid ground. So to speak. “That sounds perfect.” 

Tom kissed her slowly, a promise on his lips, and she knew dinner would be an afterthought. Her body thrummed with anticipation as she bit him again, he growled deep in his throat and pulled her tightly against him. “Computer,” he ordered as they broke for air, “end program.”


End file.
